Battling the robot invasion in my own little way

[slowsculpture]

Trivia: Most automated phone systems that take voice input have some kind of 'password', to get higher-priority service, or to get patched through to a real person. Sometimes just yelling loud enough works, sometimes it's keyed to certain profanities, and sometimes it's something like 'operator'. Just based on my own totally unscientific experience, I believe telling the UPS phone menu "fuck you, robot" makes it route you to an operator. Which is freakin' awesome, because that's, like, my thing I say to phone systems.

Let's be clear about this: I'm not an impatient guy. Seriously. I'm that guy who doesn't get upset when there's a line in the bank, I can just accept that everybody is doing their best, and that sometimes I have to wait my turn. I'm fine with that. Post offices, DMV, Disneyland - there's a line, and I just don't take it personally. But something I've noticed, in the last few years, is that more and more companies are designing automated systems to mimic polite human interactions - as if they can trick me into showing their unmanned checkout counter, or their phone menu that same patience, and it just makes my blood boil.

Every time I walk up to one of those automated things in a grocery store, I wonder if this time is going to be the time it says "unexpected item in bagging area!" and I just fucking lose it. Let's be clear about this: I'm not an impatient guy. But if I happen to show up at the grocery store, one day, with a Mossberg 500 under my jacket? Kinda gimme some room, okay?

Comments

[ceruleanbluegal.livejournal.com]

The magic word for Comcast cable is "Direct TV.". And I have found that "fuck you, you stupid sack of shit" works for Bank of America, but it may have been the volume at which I yelled it.